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yuh huh - pretending to listen

January 2008

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frustrated - i hate first years


Please tell me the Gisela Bettencourt on the cover of Playwizard is no relation of yours.


Private to Fawcett

AAAAH! I knew it! These blasted magazines did get inside Hogwarts. And Fawcett, of all people, had to find out about them.

Oh, dear Merlin, why do you hate me so?

Erm, actually... she's my mother.

Private to Stebbins

Your mother?

And no, I haven't suddenly fallen victim to rhetorical speech. I'm just hoping that if I repeat it in questions format, you'll say, "Ha! Got you!"

For once I'm really hoping that we'll never get to the stage where I have to meet her.

Private to Fawcett

I wish I was kidding, but no. Gisela Bettencourt really is my mother.

I wish I was dead.

Private to Stebbins


I'm sorry, but I really don't know what to say to that.

Now, she looks the way most blokes want their girlfriend to look naked. And it would be natural for you to feel the same way. Except if you did, it would be sort of like you were wanting me to look the same way your mother does naked.


Private to Fawcett

You can tell me I won't be abusing my position as a prefect if I confiscate every since issue I can get my hands on - and then burn them to cinders. Please?

Private to Stebbins

No no, not at all. Playwizards would come under questionable material anyway. Very, very questionable.

Private to Fawcett

Good. At least it's good to know I can try and remove that... unfortunate incident, if we can call it that, and get away with it. Now, to remove it from my brain.
I'm surprised something like this passed through the old toad's mail inspection. No, wait, surprised is not really the word, as I can imagine several ways people could hide these magazines. I'm just disappointed that, the one time I needed her censorship, it failed.